CHASCA_HOLE_JUNE132014

Many years ago the good folks at FAIRFAX CRYOBANK wrote me a nice letter inviting me to become a sperm donor. Here was my response:
"Gentleman,
Your letter indicates that the need for gametes is urgent. Boys, you have found your Spindletop! I'm so gamete replete that on the street I'm called, 'Gamete Pete.' I have been, in a manner of speaking, a freelance sperm donor for years. My gametes are top notch! They are tenacious! There's no egg my boys can't yegg. I'm GAMETE PETE! I'm gamete replete! My gametes can't be beat Let's meet! I'll treat you to some amazing gamete feats! This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. As a token of my gamete esteem I have enclosed a specimen with this letter. I placed the sample right in the envelope on the letter, with NO TROUBLE AT ALL! If you are reading this letter, your hands are probably crawling with my gametes. And if you think I'm rarin' to go now, just wait 'till we go LIVE! I love Fairfax Cryobank!
Sincerely,
James T. Fong

p.s.-Re:Confidentiality. No need to make this all hush-hush. I'd like to be able to get a look at whoever I sire. You know, quality control kinda' thing-Make sure my gametes are cookin' up real nice. You understand-I take pride in my work. Plus it would warm my heart to get to meet the little bastards!"

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1 hour ago

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3 days ago

A couple of Chasca geeks(Junior and what's his name-the dopey one who sings) had a GREAT time talking with Johnny Goudie yesterday for his podcast! Thanks Johnny! We learned some things about those Chascas: The Chascas pee for distance-not accuracy, The Chascas prefer Alan Shephard to Allen Ginsberg, The Chascas have to "google" Ginsberg to see if he's a ginsberg or ginsburg, The Chascas fear success will change them, The Chascas fear failure will ruin them, The Chascas have learned to change clothes in men's rooms with standing water and coked-up frat boys leering at them, the Chascas understand the nature of the universe is that Kim Kardashian should have a billion reasons to live while their poet friends shred their hearts and still can't give the pieces away, The Chascas count their lucky stars, The Chascas would take a bullet for one another and still get grouchy at practice, The Chascas may die trying, The Chascas find equal beauty in the breast and scrotum. THE CHASCAS FIND JOY COMES FROM WITHIN!!! ... See MoreSee Less

5 days ago

Tyler Kockler, Matt Summers and 23 others like this

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ChascaAlly Means-Thanks! We'll keep you posted on when it airs!3   ·  5 days ago

ChascaTammy Lucas-Thanks, maybe I will write a scandalous tell all autobiography...I'll need to generate some scandal if anybody's interested.2   ·  5 days ago

ChascaHow did I get here? Is the name2   ·  5 days ago

ChascaEmily Schalick-Weird and delicious...could be arranged ;) YOU ROCK!1   ·  5 days ago

ChascaMark Galvan, the podcast is called How Did I Get Here? Thanks!1   ·  5 days ago

Tammy LucasI'm in love with your writing. Please write a book. I'd read it. XOXO, Chasca Fan3   ·  5 days ago

LadySpace ToniThe Chascas are a fantastic group of guys who have lots of groupies and stalkers! Love ya'll.2   ·  5 days ago

ChascaLadySpace Toni-LOVE YOU TOO!5 days ago

Ally MeansI'm excited to hear the interview boys!1   ·  5 days ago

Mark GalvanJohnny Goudie is great. So cool y'all got to kick it with him. What's the name of his podcast?1   ·  5 days ago

Emily SchalickI fucking love The Chascas. In weird and delicious ways. Mmmmiss you, fellas!1   ·  5 days ago

Ally MeansExcellent!!!5 days ago

Lisa GloverI don't think I need to tell you guys how much love you again. But it's always nice to hear. So I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡1   ·  5 days ago

Lisa GloverDon't forget I'm the "shameless" groupie/stalker! ;-p1   ·  5 days ago

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7 days ago

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Janina Bullock, Luis Aran II and 11 others like this

Shauna NunnPlease sir, can I have some more?1   ·  6 days ago

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2 weeks ago

Lisa Glover, Sara Weems-Pena and 5 others like this

Katey GunnTriamese!1   ·  1 week ago

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2 weeks ago

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Tammy LucasChh, chh, chh, chh,chh, chh, chh, chh cherrybomb!1   ·  2 weeks ago

Eddi S. PamarSexy!1   ·  2 weeks ago

LadySpace ToniIntriguing!2 weeks ago

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NO FAIR!!!! All that bigfoot talk yesterday got me riled up so I went out and shot a bigfoot of my own. Except, it turns out, I actually shot Roy Clark.(he's fine-I just grazed him) Yipes! I asked the Home Depot if I could put Roy Clark's body on display. They just gave me the hairy eye. Why is it so hard to do something cool in this world?!!! I guess Chasca at The Mohawk Austin this Friday! (sans Roy Clark's bullet grazed body) will have to do...for now ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

April Davis, LadySpace Toni and 1 other like this

Lisa GloverI thought you would be out "noodling bears" or somethin'. Miss you guys already! <31   ·  2 weeks ago

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NO FAIR!!!! All that bigfoot talk yesterday got me riled up so I went out and shot a bigfoot of my own. Except, it turns out, I actually shot Roy Clark.(he's fine-I just grazed him) Yipes! I asked the Home Depot if I could put Roy Clark's body on display. They just gave me the hairy eye. Why is it so hard to do something cool in this world?!!! I guess Chasca at The Mohawk Austin this Friday (sans Roy Clark's bullet grazed body) will have to do...for now ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago